One of the biggest mistakes I see caregivers make (and one I’ve made myself)? Trying to reason with your person with dementia.
We say things like:
- “Mom, we already ate lunch.”
- “You don’t live there anymore.”
- “That’s not true—he died years ago.”
And then we’re met with confusion, fear, or full-blown resistance.
Let’s break the cycle. Let’s learn the art of redirection—a technique that builds connection instead of confrontation.
💬 Why “correcting” doesn’t work
Dementia affects short-term memory, logic, and sequencing—so asking your person to “think it through” is like asking someone with a broken ankle to run a mile.
Even if they once understood, in the moment, they just can’t.
Correcting their version of reality often leads to:
- Frustration
- Escalation
- More confusion
- Emotional withdrawal
🎯 What redirection is
Redirection is the art of gently shifting attention away from a distressing or untrue thought without correcting it.
It’s compassionate. It’s calming. And it can help preserve your relationship.
🛠️ 5 Redirection Techniques That Work
- Agree, then shift.
Instead of correcting, validate the emotion:
“You’re looking for your mom? She must have been so special to you. Can you tell me about her?” - Use distraction with dignity.
Invite them into a different activity:
“Let’s have a snack while we talk about that,” or “Will you help me fold these towels?” - Match their emotion, not their logic.
If they’re scared, don’t try to talk them out of it.
Say: “You’re safe. I’m right here.” - Create a calming “go-to.”
Music, a comforting object, or a photo album can help shift their focus without a fight. - Use time creatively.
If they think it’s 1965, meet them there. You can visit their reality and still care for them in yours.
💡 Practice phrases to keep in your pocket:
- “That sounds important. Tell me more.”
- “You’re safe with me.”
- “Let’s go check together.”
- “Let’s take a break and get some tea.”
💜 My Take:
Redirection isn’t about manipulation—it’s about compassion.
It’s saying: “I’m not here to prove you wrong. I’m here to help you feel safe.”
And when we stop fighting the disease and start flowing with it, everything gets easier.
Want to learn more?
→ Download my Redirection Scripts & Cheat Sheet
→ Watch my video: How to Redirect with Compassion
→ Join my Caregiver Boot Camp for hands-on tools like this